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For a long time, I knew nothing about the quality time love language. Sure, I knew that spending quality time with my children was extremely important. I did not realize that some children need much more quality time than others. I’m sure you’ve noticed that some children react more directly to different things- such as hugs, or gifts, but why is that? Why do some children crave so much more quality time than others?
If you know your child is most fond of quality time, but you are unsure of how to incorporate that into your busy life, this article can help you catch every moment of love you can!
Although many parents believe that quality time has to be something grand and expensive every time, for children, this isn’t true. Little things mean everything to them: and sometimes even more than those grand plans because in those events they become overwhelmed.
Invite them to do things like cooking dinner or helping you with a chore. They will be happy to have a chance to be around you and talk to you, and you’ll get a helper! If you’re grocery shopping, take them along and explain what’s happening. Have them help make the menu!
Although these tasks may seem mundane to you, the chance to help will not only teach your child valuable life skills but will also serve to feed their love as they are doing what they love most: spending time with you.
If you enjoy watching a TV show appropriate for their age and interest, invite them to sit beside you and watch. If they love a TV show or game a lot, try to show interest and ask if you can join them. Being nearby shows them you enjoy their presence.
Also, do things that they like. Most kids like playing interactive games online. Although this might not be your ‘thing’, playing with them for just a few minutes will go along way. The same goes for homework time. Just being there, by their side will mean everything to a child with a primarily quality time love language.
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REMEMBER
Quality time with your child does not have to be expensive, elegant, or exhausting. Quality time is being close by, talking to them, and engaging your child. Show them you like being around them.
Maybe your child likes to watch you cook, or maybe they prefer to play games with you. Do they like watching movies with you? How about bedtime stories? Car rides?
Ask your child what they like. A lot of the time you’ll find what they enjoy is neither expensive nor time-consuming. Sometimes, they may even like something you do! Do they like to color? You both could color together. Activities like these will serve to calm you as well!
Playing a guessing game as to what they do or do not enjoy can be frustrating for you, as well as make you feel helpless. It can also frustrate your child. So, never feel bad for asking.
In fact, asking not only shows you care about them, you spend time with them by discussing their likes! Score one for you, am I right?
Besides, you child will be beyond happy to share with you their thoughts, and what makes them feel loved. You can even turn the conversation to make them aware of what makes you feel loved.
Communication, and easy!
Your child, if they are a Quality Time child, will most likely be excessively jealous of others getting attention (think, angry at birthday parties for other kids), as well as excessively talk or hang around you.
Although you may be starving for ‘Me Time’, try your best to be gentle with your child. Anger and outright refusal to spend time with them without explanation will hurt them a lot.
Explain to them why you cannot listen right now, why you need a small break from being around them. Explain to them they can be loved without constantly needing to be around them, as well as the concepts of Social Exhaustion and being overwhelmed.
Developing their understanding of these things will help them grow to be more emotionally mature, more empathetic, and have better self-control. Never yell, if you can help it. Always try to be calm when explaining why you do not want to be around them, or cannot be around them, for a little while. Sometimes you’ll lose your cool. It happens.
Just remember, apologies mean a lot to children too.
Now that you know all about the quality time love language, go find your child and ask them how their day has been. They’ll be more than happy to share with you!
And don’t forget:
You’ve got this.
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